I remember a couple of years ago we were over at some friend’s house one afternoon and the dad came into the kitchen for a snack. He reached into the cabinet and pulled out a jar of cashews to eat. I reminded them of my daughter’s allergy and he put them back, a little embarrassed, I think. Another time we were at a small family holiday party with a few close friends at the home of one of them. We arrived and all the food was out, including a plate of spiced pecans. I unobtrusively put the plate away out of anyone’s reach and washed my hands, then reminded my friend of my daughter’s allergy.

So these things happened while I was there. They happened while I was able to guard not only the food my daughter ate but also the food surrounding her. She is older now, and going to more places without me. What’s interesting (right word, I’m not sure) is that these two incidents happened at the homes of very close friends; friends who had been with us through food allergy diagnosis. There are other times these friends were more careful than I could have imagined, reading labels, checking with me about food, making sure they knew how to use an Epipen. It was just a little lapse, right?

But what if she goes somewhere without me and there is a lapse? What if a friend’s mom forgets and is eating walnuts while my daughter is there? What if she goes to a function with a friend’s family and there is a plate of cashews out? Who is going to hide it now? Part of me trusts that my daughter will speak up for herself, or remind the parent at least that she has an allergy and can that food be removed. I think I’ve taught her well, and she is aware of the dangers of the foods she is allergic to. She knows what she can and can’t have. On the other hand, she’s still a kid.

On my end, I can’t lapse and forget to remind the parents that know and inform the ones that don’t about her allergy. Here are some of the things I have to remember to make sure whoever is in charge of her knows each time she is with them:
• How to use an Epipen and what to do next.
• When to use her antihistamine and when to use the Epipen
• Don’t have any nuts around her
• When taking her out to eat, ask the servers about nuts on the menu
• Check labels
• Stay aware!
• Call me with any questions or concerns

Parents are forgetful! I know I am, so I know I have to keep reminding others about my child’s needs. If they don’t like it, then we will just make other plans.